


summer's a knife

by mars22



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Gen, it's just el and max figuring out hopper and billy are dead, so like i tagged it jus in case, this is like barely major character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25563073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mars22/pseuds/mars22
Summary: the last minutes mike and el have before hopper is dead and the world shifts on its axis.
Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler
Comments: 12
Kudos: 50





	summer's a knife

**Author's Note:**

> also i can't write so this is in both of mike and el's heads partially?? idk you can kind of hear both of their thoughts and i think this was intended to just be el's pov but we're past that ig

Her vision was still very fuzzy, and her heart was beating rapidly, and she couldn’t quite process what she was seeing.

  
_(The mall, where she had been mere days ago with Max, was ablaze. A large, physical manifestation of the Mind Flayer was laying twenty feet away from her, dead. Billy, Max’s brother, was laying five feet from her, bleeding out black blood but, miraculously, still breathing. She was alive and okay, if not for the fact that her powers had yet to come back and she hadn’t seen Mike in half an hour, since he was hit directly into a metal pole and promptly fell to the ground, unconscious.)_

  
_Mike_.

  
She wanted to get up, to see him, to find him even though her leg had a gaping hole in it and there was no way she could put any pressure on it. Her muscles were probably torn, is what Mike had told her in the grocery store. Not fatal, but not great. 

  
Her heart was beating rapidly in her ears. It was loud, too, like someone had ripped it right out of her chest and was holding it right up to her head.

  
But, it turned out that it wasn’t her heart, technically. It was Mike, running towards her and gasping. He wasn’t dead, proving a small, yet very real, part of her brain wrong. His face was flushed and he had a huge cut right on his forehead, but he was still alive and breathing and okay, and they had both made it out okay again. 

  
He knelt in front of her and uttered her name. “El.”

  
“Mike!” she gasped. She knotted her hands in his hair and pulled him sharply into an embrace. She breathed out a shaky breath, sinking into the floor and against Mike’s body. Once her brain fully processed the fact that he was there, alive, and not passed out on a cold, concrete floor within the depths of the mall, she started to cry tears of relief. 

  
“Are you okay?’ she whimpered, pulling away to get another look at the gash on his forehead. 

  
“Yeah,” he whispered back, sighing in turn. They looked at each other for a small moment before he leaned in and kissed her, briefly, before pulling away again. He still wasn’t sure if they were back together yet, if kissing her was even an okay thing to do, but he was reassured by the fact that her hands had yet to drop from their place at the side of his neck, and the fact that (okay, maybe this one had been wishful thinking, but still) he had felt her kiss back, slightly. 

  
When he pulled away, she glanced at him before thrusting herself back into his arms, gasping and pleading for this not to be a dream. 

  
(Maybe she did want it to be a dream, slightly. Maybe she just wanted this entire experience to fade and to wake up again, warm in her bed, and roll over and see that he was coming over in thirty minutes. To get up and eat breakfast with her dad and hug him as he left for work, and wait for Mike to see what toy, or book, or music he brought that day to show her. And she could tell him about her dream, about Billy and the Mind Flayer and her leg, and he could hold her tight and tell her that she was okay, that the gate was closed, that he wouldn't let it get her. And she would be safe and warm and nothing would ever hurt her again. 

  
But this wasn't a dream.)

  
"I thought I was going to lose you," he confessed in her ear, voice barely audible above Max's screams and the others' voices as they tried to find a way down the stairs before something gave way and the whole mall tumbled down. "I'm sorry I didn't do more."

  
El pulled away from him, then. Not completely, as her arms were still laying against his neck and his were still wrapped tightly around her waist, but enough so that she could look him in the eyes and shake her head quietly. She wanted to tell him that it was okay, that he did everything he could, that he was the reason that Billy hadn't gotten the best of her in the sauna, or the cabin. She wanted to tell him that she heard, and, if she never got another chance to say it, that she loved him, too. 

  
But they both were suddenly made aware of Max, who was about to collapse into El. She quickly tore away from Mike (no matter how much it hurt to do so) and caught Max before she could hit the tile, eyes quickly going between Max and Billy. She pushed her hair back and told Max that she was okay, trying to do everything she could to console her. But she didn't really know the girl, after all, and soon Lucas had her in his arms and was whispering comforting words in her ear. Jonathan looked like his back had finally given way and had one arm around Steve for support, and Will was looking at the Mind Flayer like it was about to come back to life and swallow him whole. El couldn't help but feel like it was all her fault.

  
It was then that they were reminded that they weren't alone, and heard helicopters landing in the parking lot. Lucas and Nancy then took it upon themselves to get Max off the floor, despite her screaming that she couldn't leave Billy, not bleeding out on the mall floor. Nancy, finally picked her up underneath her arms, whispered something in her ear (the only words El could make out were _I know_ and _Barb_ ) and finally seemed to calm Max down, at least enough so that Nancy and Lucas could help her out of the mall. As the mall began to be stormed by government workers, Robin noticed that Mike needed help getting El out, and immediately took Max's place under her left arm. 

  
El had a sudden rush of love and appreciation for everyone in there. They had all seen unspeakable things that night, and would continue to for the next couple of days, at least, but for now they were all helping each other. El didn't know Robin, besides being the girl who told the scary story about the girl's bone coming out of her leg, and yet here she was, helping her get out. She didn't really know Jonathan, or Steve, but she knew they didn't always like each other, but there was Steve, supporting Jonathan and patiently getting him out of the mall. Everyone was so good to each other, so understanding, and she loved them _all_ , so much.

  
Outside was crazy. It was swarmed with ambulances and fire trucks and helicopters, with people shouting and running. Before someone noticed the state of El's leg, her and Mike (Robin was whisked away with Steve, who had told someone that she hadn't had any water in two days) saw Dustin getting off a helicopter. They ran the best they could to him and hugged him desperately, meeting Lucas and Will there as well. Rain splashed them and wet their hair, and all they could think about was how lucky they all were, despite El's hemorrhaging leg and Dustin's growling stomach. Eventually, Mike and El were pulled away to get bandages on their wounds, and Dustin and Erica were scarfing down meals given to them by nurses with Robin and Steve. 

  
The ambulance felt quiet and sheltered, other than the rain falling on the roof and medical personnel trying to figure out their parents, their social security numbers, and how to best heal El's leg. They clung to each other, in the sticky, damp heat of a rainy summer evening, hoping that this would all work out, just like it did all those months ago (despite the fact that that felt like yesterday).

  
"You're the bravest person I know," Mike whispered once the nurse in their ambulance went to go check Jonathan's back, something that looked like a team effort from what they could see. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."

  
El shook her head again. "Stop saying that."

  
"It's true," he protested. "Jonathan... Jonathan took how many hits to his back, stood up to that monster, for Nancy. Lucas took out Billy with his slingshot to protect Max, but I feel like I can't do anything for you. I feel like..." he trailed off, searching for the right words. "I feel like I'm not brave enough, or strong enough, to protect you. And that scares me."

  
El felt like she wanted to cry. Mike was so good, to her and to everyone, and seeing him so vulnerable made her want to fall into his arms and never wake up again. He never spoke like that to anyone else, was always so harsh and abrupt, it made her feel special when he talked to her like she was a person, like she was on his level, like he could share anything and everything with her. Like he loved her. 

  
Before she responded, she gave him a second, maybe to say it. She wanted to hear him say it again, desperately, before she did, to make sure she wasn't dreaming. But he just bit his lip and looked at her, like he was worried she was going to laugh at him or something. 

  
"Mike," she started. "You saved me in the sauna, from Billy, and at the cabin. You're the reason I'm here, that my hair isn't all shaved off right now. If it wasn't for you, I would be sleeping in a cold, empty room with no one to protect me, with no one who cared about me. You saved me from that, even if you couldn't save me from Billy." She wanted to add that she loved him, but she still didn't. She instead opted for kissing him gently, then, hoping it conveyed all the unspoken words in her heart. 

  
There was a sudden commotion outside, and they both turned to see Will rushing at his mom and almost knocking her over. El looked at Mike, briefly, before getting up and limping out to the middle of the circle of firetrucks and ambulances. She made eye contact with Joyce, who simply cried and shook her head. And suddenly she was incredibly jealous of Will, holding his mom safe in his arms. 

  
It felt like all the air had been knocked out of her lungs. Vaguely, she felt her face scrunch up and hot tears start to run down her face, and heard something like her voice screaming, but none of it registered. It felt like her heart was collapsing, like she had all the tears in the world to give. And though she felt all of this, all of this _pain_ and anguish and heartbreak, she couldn't help but not be surprised. _Of course_ it ended like this. Of course her and Mike both get out by a hair and everything seems okay for a minute, for a half second, before it all comes crashing down again. Of course! Of course she killed Hopper, both by opening the gate and him adopting her, probably one of the greatest risks he ever took, and now he's...

  
Gone. 

  
El feels herself hitting the concrete, but it still doesn't register. Nothing does. Not the rain or the sirens or everyone staring. She feels like she's underwater again, like she can hear everything but it's all fuzzy and distorted, like she's in another room. The only thing that finally seems to make a crack in the bubble she's created is, of course, Mike. 

  
He runs to her, again, and kneels down in front of her, holding her by the arms.

  
"El?" he says quickly, and again it feels like he's yelling at her while she's underwater. "El, is something wrong?"

  
All she can do is cry and fall forward into his arms. He catches her, obviously, and holds her while she cries. He doesn't seem to mind that he's now near soaking between her tears and the rain, and he's in an uncomfortable position on the ground. He simply strokes her hair and holds her, protects her from everyone else rushing over and asking what's wrong. Mike shakes his head in confusion at Max and Dustin, the first to run over and try and figure out what's happening. El still isn't choking out any words.   
"El, can you tell me what's wrong?" Mike half-shouts, over the rain and the sirens and all the voices. She still doesn't move, still can't stop sobbing, and anxiety is pulsing through his veins. He brushes her hair away from her face and rests his chin on her head, trying to protect her from whatever's happened the best he can. If his brain wasn't fried from exhaustion and dehydration, he probably would've figured it out by now. It's only when Ms. Byers comes over, crying herself, and starts rubbing El's back that it starts to dawn on him. 

_Hopper_.

  
"Oh, El," he whispers, guilt and empathy starting to set in on him. "El, I'm so sorry."

  
Mike isn't sure that she hears him over the noise, but she's still clinging to him desperately. Everyone is soaked by now, and his own mom has found them by now, too, with Nancy trailing behind her. 

  
"What's happened?" His mom says worriedly. Mike is pretty sure he's crying now, too, for and with El, but he can't tell if it's rain or tears. 

  
"Not the chief," Nancy almost gasps, and all Mike can do is look back at El to confirm her suspicions. It's like all the air has been knocked out of the world. Soon, Jonathan and Steve are over, too, and but Mike and El are barely conscious of anything outside of their own little bubble. El can't contain her tears, can't stop her body from racking with the force of them, and Mike is feeling more and more inadequate, more and more guilty, as his girlfriend hyperventilates in his arms. He can't stop it, can't control it, instead sitting in the pouring rain, legs starting to fall asleep under his body.

  
And somehow he knows, even if she's still here in his arms, that he's lost her again. 

**Author's Note:**

> title is from "cruel summer" by taylor swift.  
> i kinda already did this, it was the first thing i posted, but that was mostly centered on them in the ambulance, rather than this, which is everything from them reuniting after the mind flayer dies to just after the shot of el realizing hopper is dead.  
> i have so many ideas in my head rn, and none of them are working out, so here's this thing i finished a while ago but never posted lol. i'm hoping to have something based on folklore up pretty soon, but i make no promises lol.  
> as always, find me on tumblr under mikewhecler :))


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